The Danger of Comparison
It can be hard to be a mama. Let me say that again, it can be SUPER hard to be a mama. Today, we live in a world where every single person has to share their opinion about every single thing. Social media can be amazing, but it can also be the devil. So many times, I fall into the trap of comparison. I see certain things and feel like I can’t quite measure up or I’m just not good enough. It doesn’t have to even relate to being a mama, it can be anything really. Not pretty enough, smart enough, skinny enough, organic enough. I think as a woman and a mother, I have to find what works for me and my family and just do it, regardless of what I see others doing. I have to remind myself that I am doing what works for me, my son, and my husband, and I am doing it at my very best. I believe wholeheartedly that we were all created to be set-apart and unique by the Creator. He didn’t make me like anyone else, and He didn’t make you like anyone else. Comparing ourselves to others will only bring about more hurt. Comparison, if left unchecked, could bring about frustration, insecurity, and anger. Comparison will only hurt more and create more of a mess. When I get stuck in the trap of comparison, I try to quote Scripture; some of my favorite verses to quote in my head or even out loud are…
“For You created my inmost being;
You knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from You when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in Your book before one of them came to be.
How precious to me are Your thoughts, God!
How vast is the sum of them!
Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand—
when I awake, I am still with You.”
Psalm 139:14-18
How incredible to know that God knew you before anyone knew you. He saw you as you were being woven together piece by piece, and He was thinking of you. His thoughts of you can’t even be numbered because there are so many. Doesn’t it put everything in perspective? God thinks YOU are something special.
“Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered.
Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.”
Luke 12: 7
“Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone,
without comparing themselves to someone else.”
Galatians 6:4
God gave us all our own set of gifts. My gifts are not your gifts, and your gifts are not my gifts. We each are special in our own individual way.
Another thing to do is to choose compliments over comparison. When you see another mama owning motherhood with her three kids under three, fist bump her and tell her how good of a job she’s doing and to keep up the good work! Compliment her on her grace in caring for her littles and that she is totally rocking that mom bun. Don’t sit there and come up with a whole story of why she is the way she is. Well… her kids sleep through the night, she has a nanny, or her husband works from home, THAT is why she has it all together. Is it? Do you know that for a fact? NOPE. Choose to bless over bash. Another thing, when you see a mom straight up riding the struggle bus, HELP HER. So many times I see people who don’t have kids glaring or rolling their eyes because a kid is having a royal melt down because they want a cookie for dinner instead of carrots and hummus. Look, until you have tiny crumb snatchers, do not even give anyone the side eye with kids. One day my friend… one day. We will have THAT kid who loses his/her mind in Target on aisle seven because they want a new fidget spinner. Bless over bash. How about going up to that mom and saying, “Hey, do you need a coffee? My treat.” Then go buy her a coffee! Pay it forward. We are all in this together! It takes a village, remember?
So in closing, I just want to say this… YOU are doing a GREAT job. Motherhood is hard. In a world full of cloth diapering, breastfeeding, bottle feeding, co-sleeping, sleep training, natural childbirth at home, c-section in the hospital, and so many other things, just choose what works for you and your family and do it well! You are a superhero to your babes, and that’s all that matters!!! You were called to be the mother of your kiddos whether you birthed them, adopted them, fostered them, whatever the case may be, YOU are doing a great job. You have a set of strengths and abilities that no one else has, and you are crushing it! Keep your head up buttercup and remember when you are kissing those owies, making lunches, teaching valuable lessons, and rocking your little angels, YOU are doing YOUR best and you are doing YOUR job!!! And let’s all remember that mamas are the real MVPs always. Sending y’all lots of virtual hugs!!!
Jasmine says
This is too good! Thanks for posting, friend!
Brittney says
Thank you love! Thanks for reading! 🙂